For many years, I had been taught that holiness was about how you dressed, talked, what you watched, and what you listened to. If you were tagged as “being holy” by your peers, it was never a compliment — more like an insult to make you feel like you think too highly of yourself. In return, we often feel bad and try not to be “too holy” so we can fit in and look like everyone else.
But the Holy Spirit really put it in my heart to discuss this topic — what the Bible says and what He has taught me about being holy. And it may surprise you, because holiness is not always about your outward appearance.
God revealed to me certain areas Christians must work on to walk in holiness. SEXUAL SIN
To develop this topic, the Holy Spirit guided me to the letters written by Saint Paul to the Corinthians (2 Corinthians 6:12-20). Holiness touches your mind, spirit, and body — and the area I want to focus on targets the inner work you must do to appear blameless before God.
Based on what I’ve read in Scripture and the wisdom the Holy Spirit gave me, holiness is about being spiritually blameless before God. It’s about being detached from your own desires and lacking nothing to fill your spirit. It means being so full of the Holy Spirit that you generate His fruits.
Holiness is becoming one, just as God is One. And you cannot arrive at this state without the help of the Holy Spirit. That’s why you need intimacy with God.
This topic can be very sensitive and triggering for many people, so please don’t read it with shame or guilt. Instead, let it be a point of discussion and a set of prayer points that you bring to God for guidance and healing. Know that nobody in this world is perfect, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be holy. Holiness in this area is attainable.
Sexual Abuse & Assault
Yeah… God wants to talk about this, so don’t scroll or run away. There is nothing to be ashamed of, because almost everyone on the planet has been guilty of sexual abuse or assault. The devil wants to shame you and make you feel guilty so you stay trapped — but Jesus does not want that for you.
This is a sensitive topic because many have suffered sexual abuse at a young age. Abuse leaves wounds that make you feel worthless, so unconsciously, you may not see your body as worthy anyway. Maybe you’re even mad at God for letting it happen.
Sexual assault is one of the primary ways the devil initiates people into shame and sin — by planting seeds of unworthiness, shame, and guilt over situations we had no control over.
I survived many sexual assaults at a young age and even into my early 20s, because God really wanted to preserve something very precious to me — my virginity. Yet even with that, it didn’t stop me from feeling traumatised or from not doing things God’s way.
But I understand that this may not have been the case for many of you. If you experienced sexual abuse or assault, God sees you. He is so sorry for what happened to you. And when you come to Him, He can explain why certain things happened, show you how He tried to protect you, and reveal how He will use your story to shape your future.
He takes what the enemy meant for evil and turns it for good. Please know that where the abuse began is not where God wants your story to end; there are more beautiful chapters you can experience.
P.S. If you're reading and you're still experiencing the abuse, leave, ask God to send you angels ( yes, he has angels on earth that he can send to help you, this will manifest as people ) that can help you get out the sitautionm, Talk and dont stay silence. The enemy will intimate you with silence, but speaking about it will guarantee your freedom.
Wherever you are in this, lay it at the feet of the cross. Submit the frustration and pain to God and let Him guide you in healing. Depending on your wound, He may lead you to a therapist, a specialist, a trusted friend, the police, or He may heal you directly, depending on your faith.
What matters is this: you can receive healing, and God does not want you spiritually trapped in past pain.
Sexual Act Outside God's Plan
Some people justify sexual acts outside God’s plan because they feel good. Of course, sex is good — God created it. But the real question is whether the way and the context in which you practice is good for your spirit? Remember God created your spirit first before you gave it form with your body ( Genesis 1 26-31, Genesis 1:26-31)
Your body and mind will both be buried one day, but your spirit will go to meet the Maker. That means your spirit should be the main focus. When your spirit is linked to the Holy Spirit, He leads your soul and mind — this is why the Bible says Christ renews our minds. When you are full of the Holy Spirit, you step into your true power, and nothing can stop you.
When it comes to sexual sin, everyone has fallen short, whether on a small scale or a large scale.
In the New Testament, Saint Paul tells the Corinthians ( 1cor 6:12-20) not to commit sexual sin willingly, because it is a sin against one’s own body, and we must consider our bodies as the temple of the Lord. A dwelling place for his spirit.
Don’t listen to the world; listen to God. He holds your future.
1. Masturbation
I want to talk about masturbation because I fell into the trap of believing it was “good for you” based on medical and scientific proof. But I can tell you now: it is not holy.
Science may show benefits — and I don’t think science lies — but we cannot trust “the creation” more than the Creator.
Deep down, you know what is right and wrong. But loneliness, sadness, curiosity, and depression make us justify what is not right.
I also want to clarify something: I am a virgin, practising abstinence, but that didn’t make me any less faulty or any less vulnerable to sin. Purity is not just about physical acts — it is about the heart, the mind, and the spiritual battles we face in private.
I can guarantee you that I would have never reached the level of spiritual growth I have now if I had stayed masturbating. I wasn’t addicted to it. I didn’t even start it willingly — I experienced several sexual assault attempts, and I carried shame.
To punish myself, I continued the habit. It filled a void of loneliness. I would even masturbate and afterwards pray — very shameless — resisting the voice of the Holy Spirit telling me to stop (that whisper saying, “You don’t need this.”) I didn’t understand that God wanted to heal me, not condemn me.
Masturbation led to a dependence on desire that pushed me to make bad choices in the men I dated. It decreased my self-esteem, and I believed the lie that the only valuable thing I could offer in a relationship was my body. I was so blinded that I couldn’t see people for their true value — and I couldn’t see myself in that same light either.
But in His mercy, God gave me the grace to stop. When I stopped, I filled my spirit with Christian teachings, the Word of God, fasting, and prayer — and that gave me the strength to control my impulses.
I share this shamelessly because there is no condemnation in Christ. When you come to Him with an honest heart, He heals you and shows you the way.
2. Promiscuity
You have to value your body. Many people follow worldly “sexual liberation” standards, but if you are a Christian who wants a deeper life with God, you have to do things God’s way.
As a child of God, when you receive the Holy Spirit, you are called to have self-control and treat your body with respect. God is not against sex. But if sex takes the place of God in your life, it becomes a problem.
God is the master of systems and order. Look at your body — several systems work on autopilot to keep you alive without your effort. That’s God’s order.
Sex has a place and a context: marriage.
And more importantly, it shouldn’t be the centre of your life.
I remember dating a guy (a guy God clearly told me to leave, but I didn’t listen, story for another time ), and all he talked about was sex. All he wanted was sex. I felt weird because I always felt there was more to life. His energy influenced me into thinking about sex 24/7 — and that was not my character. This led me away from God.
When sex becomes the motive behind the content you watch, the books you read, or the activities you do, you become distracted. God takes the back seat. Your desires lead — and desires without God always lead to destruction.
Pray about this area.
Ask God to reveal where you’ve fallen and guide you out.
If you’re struggling, it may not happen overnight, but healing is a process. Do not give up.
More to Come on Holiness
There is more I will share about holiness. This is a sensitive topic, but don’t stay in shame. Humble yourself before God. Let Him walk with you through the pain and lead you into healing and deliverance.
All things are possible through Christ, who strengthens us.
Pray with the following Psalms:
-
Psalm 23
-
Psalm 32
-
Psalm 85
Add comment
Comments