I was baptised Catholic but never truly practised or believed in Jesus Christ because of a lack of deep knowledge of the power of Jesus Christ. As an adult, I didn’t do anything to remedy that, because I thought that as long as I went to church and did a couple of prayers, I would go to heaven — “God sees my actions.” That’s a delusion and only a tactic that I accepted to keep myself stagnant.
I also knew the way I was living was not pleasing to God, and I was too prideful to humble myself fully (I had to learn the hard way lol). Because of this way of living, I would also look for opportunities not to believe in God. This is why when activities would happen in the church that were displeasing to me, I would use that as an excuse not to identify myself as a Christian. I would not speak against blasphemy. When I found myself in rooms where people spoke against Christ, I wouldn’t say anything because I didn’t want to be attacked.
Have you ever felt that? Being church hurt is one of the key reasons Christians leave the church and go to other practices, seeking something that brings them closer to their idea of who God is.
Now looking back at my early walk as a believer, I was following God for the wrong reason. My foundation depended heavily on going to church on Sundays with my family and saying short prayers. It depended on my emotions — if God answered my prayer when I wanted, I would follow Him, and if not, I would be upset and walk away. I followed Christ for what He could do for me: blessings, money, and favours — not for who He truly was.
Who is Christ To You?
Many Christians see God as a provider (the one who gives you marriage, kids, a house, blessings, or the one who will save you from the troubles He warned you against). That is partly the truth of who He is, and I truly encourage you to believe that. But also take it further, because God is not some magician who pops up to answer your requests. He is your Creator. He holds your future in His hands. He is almighty, He is sovereign, and more importantly, He loves you.
Being a Christian is about being a follower of Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Being a follower is not about doing religious actions (they are tools, but not the solution); it’s about converting your heart and turning away from doing life your own way to follow what Jesus says. It’s about having a relationship with Jesus — and where Jesus is, God the Father is, because He is seated at the right hand of the Father.
You can’t live as a Christian without the help of the Holy Spirit; you need to submit your life to God’s hands and allow yourself to be guided.
The most important thing God wants to accomplish in you is to make you into His image — the character He made you with, without the trauma, vices, and wicked ways you’ve allowed yourself to be influenced by, whether consciously or not. For this to happen, He will prune you, teach you how to yield a life that produces fruit, positively influence others, and walk in your power as a disciple of Christ. In this identity, you will find everything you need and want in God’s timing.
Let your relationship with God be on a strong foundation, not on your emotions, desires, and what people say. You must follow Christ for yourself — follow Him because you have a revelation of His power. You cannot fool God because He sees your heart. Until He sees that your heart is honest and humble, there are certain prayers and favours that will be delayed and blocked, but more importantly, you remain blind and unable to see who you really are in the eyes of God.
I encourage you to pray about this and ask God to reveal who He is to you, and read the following:
John 3
Romans 10:9–10
Watch this teaching by Pastor Stephanie Ike Okafor for more details
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